This, that, and some of that, too.

So, my little vampire called off the trip to the movie again today. Pity. I actually wanted to go today. I could have used the distraction.

A. is due in... sometime today. He called early yesterday afternoon to tell me "done here!" and let me know he was trying to get an earlier flight back. Unless someone at the office changes his flight plans for him, he's stuck. Unless he can catch a standby seat. Either way, I probably won't know until he's landed and texting me with "landed".

Despite her desire to sleep all day, I need to rouse the little vampire so that we can run some of the other errands we had to do today. Top of that list is taking her updated physical form over to the school. After that, um, I don't know. Most of today was planned around the movie and trip to the airport.

I've got to call my mom and see how things are going with my grandfather and find out if he's going into the hospital today and if she needs any help. I feel like I should be there but I'm sure my grandfather doesn't want the kid or I there while he's so sick. Especially the kid, and I really don't have anywhere to stick her until school starts. And I know my mom won't want the kid around because she (my mom) is prone to crying these past few days with her stress levels creeping into worrisome highs, and she just doesn't cry or be upset around her granddaughter.

I'd go to the bookstore to kill a few hours (seriously, I could happily spend days there) but I'm good on books for the moment -- more than good, actually -- and I'd never be able to spend that much time there without buying a stack of books. (The number of books I walk out with increases exponentially with amount of time I spend in the store.)

I keep thinking there's a reason I need to hit either WalMart or Target, but I'm at a loss as to what that reason might be. There's just this nagging pull toward the store that I'm resisting until I know WHY I need to be there. Eventually it will come to me. I hope.

My horoscope has me... smirking.

Your horoscope for Wednesday, Aug 06, 2008
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

Public recognition may finally be on the way, but you still need to be patient as one thing after another delays the completion of a project. Lack of progress has probably increased your frustration, making you eager or even desperate to get the job done. But don't talk yourself into taking bold action now, for it's not likely a good move. Recognizing that your perspective is bent out of shape today gives you good reason to wait a little bit longer.

Lack of progress has PROBABLY increased my frustration? Oh please. My frustration level has been at a dangerous high lately. If I don't start writing again soon my head will explode. Seriously. Luckily, A. is a smart man and realizes this and is trying to work with me to make that happen.

Maybe that's what I'll do if I'm not needed anywhere else today. I'll work on some character development. I can sit and talk to people in my head for a few hours, learning all sorts of interesting things about them. Maybe after I've gotten to know some of the voices in my head better, they'll tell me their stories. Maybe.

That's it for now.

Blue skies, world.

Redecorating. Sort of.

So. The menu isn't ready for this week. I have vague ideas about what K. and I will be eating (A. leaves town Tuesday afternoon and returns Friday night) but they're still in my head. I'll shake them loose after I'm closer to being done with stage one of the "Fix the Living Room" project.

Today has been spent listening to a Rambo festival (I now have all the Rambo movies!! *squee*) while I figured out what to do with all the stuff that was on the old desk and has been (and is still currently) piled atop the dining room table (and, um, under it) since last night.

We went from a 60 inch wide computer desk with a hutch (over 15 years old so it wasn't designed for a tower set up) to a computer armoire that's just about 35 inches wide and 54 inches tall. It gives us more room in the living room (step two is the six foot tall, 72-inch wide entertainment center which will give us even more room) and I love the armoire idea. I love having the computer and printer out of sight when it's not in use (which, admittedly, isn't that often *laughs* but it DOES happen from time to time). I love having more room in the living room for furniture to sit on (that's step three). The problem comes from the fact that I use roughly 90 to 95% of the stuff on the former desk on a semi-regular to regular basis.

But! But!! I have ideas!!

I don't actually sit at the desk to write, though I do have to sit there to print. (My printer and laptop don't play nice together so I have to print off the backup files on my flash drive.) The desk is where I sometimes pay bills and where K. has monitored access to the internet (one of the big reasons we keep that computer; I won't allow my 11- almost 12-year-old to have internet access in her room). As I said, it's were I sit to print and, really, a lot of my household files are still on the computer on the desk because A. bought me my laptop for me to write on and I really do keep resisting the urge to transfer AAAALL my household files to it (though I did transfer over the most important ones). Seeing as how I don't sit at the desk to write, there's no point in all my writing-related office supplies (reference books, note cards, sticky notes, blahblahblah) hogging up space at the desk. All that stuff needs to find a new home closer to where I'm prone to doing actual research: at the dining room table where I can spread things out. There are two book cases (each at least twenty years old so they're the BIG cases that are so hard to find today) by the dining room table. Surely I can give up at least ONE shelf worth of books to make room for my writing-related office supplies, right? If I'm really lucky, I can clear two shelves and make room for some of my "writer's block/brain freeze toys", too, but since not all the books on the shelves belong to me, I can't make that call. Well, actually I sort of can since A.'s already gone through the partial shelf of his books and that leaves, um, mine. (I'm a book hog... )

The papers that were in the file drawers... eesh. I don't know yet. The old desk had two deep file drawers that held a lot of random research material and general paperwork (not to mention my stationary, my writer's block toys, and other stuff). The new desk has one small drawer under the printer shelf that's both wide and tall enough to hold some hanging files, but it's only deep enough to hold maybe a dozen. I think it's deep enough to hold all the household financial files. Maybe. The rest of the stuff...? I don't know. I'll be spending this week while A. is out of town sorting through and re-evaluating a lot of my stuff. I do have a free-standing two-drawer file cabinet (that's old and needs to be replaced, too) that holds files now. If I do this right, I may be able to dedicate one drawer of that to my research and the other drawer to general household files that don't go in the desk (bills in desk, manuals and such in filing cabinet). Right now it's all speculation, though. I've got a lot of stuff to sort out. Before I start sorting though, I need to work on clearing some space on the bookcases... something I hadn't anticipated doing until much further down the line.

And in the middle of all this "life renovation" chaos, life goes on. K. gets out of school for the summer on Wednesday. A. leaves town Tuesday afternoon and doesn't come home until Friday night. My tomatoes are growing. The pepper plants are dying. And so on and so forth.

And eventually, I'll get the menu made and posted. Eventually. Maybe. Right now, I just want to curl up in a blanket and listen to the night.

Menu - week of April 6 - 12, 2008

Wow, what a crazy week. And this week should be even crazier with K. out on Spring Break and A. in California.

With A. gone, I'm getting up "on time"... between 5 and 6am most mornings. I did sleep in a bit over the weekend, but I was still out of bed before noon. As a result, a lot has been done. There's still quite a bit to do, but life is a never-ending series of chores with some fun stuff in between. Or maybe that's a never-ending series of fun stuff littered with chores. Either way...

K. and I don't really have any plans scheduled for this week while she's out of school. Today (Monday) she's "grounded". Not... really, but sort of. Months ago she and I made a deal that her room was to be CLEAN by the time I went to bed this past Friday or she was to spend as much of her vacation week as it took her in her room cleaning. With things getting a little crazy when A. went out of town and other factors, I extended that to Sunday night (last night). Well, her room is GREATLY improved, but not as it should be. So, she's "grounded". She's in her room cleaning even now.

This week's menu was done a few days ago, but, um, yeah. Been a bit busy with A. out of town and K. and I on our own so there hasn't been much blogging time (hoping to change that starting this week) and when I have had blogging time these past few days, we've been having enough thunder and lightning that I decided being on the computer was not a good idea. So, here it is. Finally. K. helped me with it and what's listed for breakfast may change if I feel like tackling some of the recipes she wants me to make. Things like Quick Cinnamon Rolls with Buttermilk Icing, Coffeecake Muffins, Orange Cinnamon Swirl Bread, and Buttermilk Doughnuts. While it's good to see her wanting breakfast, I'm not sure I have the energy to cook for her like she wants. And I'm not entirely sure that I should, at least, not every day.

As always, much gratitude for Laura at I'm an Organizing Junkie for hosting Menu Plan Monday.

Sunday
breakfast: oops. nothing. slept in.
lunch: Subway for me, McDonald's for K. (my mom's treat)
dinner: foraging on leftovers

Monday
breakfast: toast and OJ (with cereal for me)
lunch: sandwiches (pb&j or turkey or BLT)
dinner: ground beef and rice mixed into a sort of casserole and topped with cheese, lima beans, salad

Tuesday
breakfast: waffles and bacon
lunch: leftovers or sandwiches
dinner: omelets and bacon

Wednesday
breakfast: pancakes
lunch: sandwiches (pb&j or turkey or BLT), salad, fruit
dinner: pork chops, rice, broccoli

Thursday
breakfast: toast and OJ (plus cereal for me)
lunch: sandwiches (pb&j or turkey or BLT), salad, fruit
dinner: flatbread melts (trying to copycat Lean Cuisine's new line; details later)

Friday
breakfast: omelets and bacon
lunch: flatbread pizzas
dinner: foraging and grazing

Saturday
breakfast: pancakes
lunch: foraging
dinner: pot roast, mashed potatoes, broccoli

Menu - March 9 - 15, 2008

The bread bowls I made with the chicken salad last week were such a hit that when it turned a bit on the nippy side this weekend, we decided to have some chili served in bread bowls for dinner tonight. It was great. The recipe I've been using for the bread bowls lends itself to all sorts of uses.

On other fronts, K. has FCAT testing this week. She's been preparing by watching episodes of the old television show Soap (borrowed from the library) and Highlander as well as playing dress-up dolls online. She's also eager to go to the Renaissance Festival next weekend (the 15th, weather permitting).

This weekend A. started making me an excel spreadsheet (full of formulas and drop boxes and all sorts of neat things) to calculate the labor and cost of supplies used in the jewelry and chain maille I make, just in case I ever take the notion to actually try and sell anything (rather than give it all to the kid).

While I haven't been getting much writing done, I have been creative in other ways (like the necklaces, bracelets, and earrings I keep making for K.). And I've been aching to bake again. I've missed baking bread several times a month and am currently researching ways to satisfy that desire but still keep my expenses down (whole wheat and other wholesome grains are just too expensive lately).

And I guess that brings us to a menu for this week.

As always, much gratitude for Laura at I'm an Organizing Junkie for hosting Menu Plan Monday.

Sunday
lunch: foraging on leftovers
dinner: chili in bread bowls

Monday
lunch: pb&j sandwich, salad, pineapple chunks
dinner: chili-filled baked potatoes, salad

Tuesday
lunch: pb&j sandwich, salad, mandarin orange segments
dinner: pork chops (not sure how yet), mashed potatoes, weird peas, salad

Wednesday
lunch: pb&j sandwich, salad, pineapple chunks
dinner: breaded cod fillets, corn nibblets, broccoli, salad

Thursday
lunch: pb&j sandwich, salad, mandarin orange segments
dinner: pasta, salad (possibly bread if I feel froggy enough to make some)

Friday
lunch: leftover pasta (there's always leftovers for some reason)
dinner: beans, rice, hoe cakes, salad

Saturday
lunch: RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL
dinner: foraging on leftovers

Of kids and lemons

Instead of having fish tonight for dinner we went to Cracker Barrel. No real reason for it other than I was terribly disgusted by the very notion of eating fish and desperately craving steak. It was a mood thing, I guess.

Anyway, we ate dinner and afterward I was sipping a cup of tea when K. started licking the lemon wedge that came with my tea.

Now, when she was a baby we let her lick the lemons because what better way to teach a child that's not the most yummy thing to do, right? Also, the face the kid makes afterward is always funny, and it only gets funnier with the second, third, and even fourth times. It's a learning process and some kids aren't always quick on the uptake. K. was usually pretty quick to decide lemons were not good eating, but for about a year it was always something she had to try again the whenever she saw one.

So tonight A. and I are sitting there looking at K. like she's lost her ever-loving mind, 'cause lets face it, someone reaches over and picks up a juicy wedge of lemon and starts licking it and you can't help but wonder if maybe they have a screw working itself loose. Of course, the eleven-year-old girl child bursts into a fit of giggles and "What??"s accompanied by a few "it's good!!"s.

Now, when she was a baby, it was her father that tormented her as all parents torment their babies. He'd be the one to put the lemon wedges within her tiny little reach. He'd be the one that, after she told him she hit her head on the wall, would ask for a demonstration knowing full well that she'd give it... five times. He'd be the one that would tell her things like pictures were always in color but before a certain year the world was in black and white... and in some areas of the world the color fades, reverting back to black and white until some technician somewhere refilled the color toner cartridges. Ever read "Calvin and Hobbes"? Calvin's dad was the inspiration for many of A.'s amusing little tortures.

Seeing how A. wasn't jumping on this giggling eleven-year-old sucking on a lemon thing with both feet, I figured it was my turn. I offered K. just a bit of sugar on a spoon. Being an eleven-year-old girl deep in puberty, she took it. I told her to chase it down quick with a suck on the lemon she had... and she did it, much to our amusement. After a few minutes I repeated the offer of sugar with another suggestion of a lemon juice chaser... and she took it and did it again. It only happened once more, but only because she'd sucked all the juice out of the lemon and A. really wanted to leave the restaurant.

Well, almost all of the juice. Just before we left the table she took that poor little lemon wedge and squeezed it for all she was worth. It gave her very little juice -- it didn't even fill the spoon halfway -- and what did my darling little girl do? Yup. She stuck that half a spoonful of pure lemon juice in her mouth.

I'm not sure which was funnier, the face she made with the sugar/lemon juice combo or the pure lemon juice.

No, I stand corrected. The face with the pure lemon juice was far funnier.

And now she has requested that I pick up some lemons next time I go to the grocery store. Seriously. The kid wants lemons on a daily basis. And she wants to try a lime, too.

Well, it is a fruit and it's not like she's going to eat too many of them and I can think of far worse things for her to be begging for, so what's a mom to do? I don't know about other moms, but I put lemons on the shopping list for later this week.

Playing catch up

I'm feeling... better. I've had a killer headache and been all sorts of cranky and irritable since I got up yesterday morning, but I'm keeping food in my stomach. I count this as making progress.

Well, no, not since I got up yesterday morning. Since one of the cabinet guys knocked on my door at 850am then started moving my refrigerator and oven around because he had to "fix" stuff. Again.

Ok, so honestly I may have been a bit on the irritable side before then (like, days before) but I'm going to stick with blaming the cabinet guy. It's more satisfying than admitting that I'm just strung out and overly tired from being sick and stuff.

And no, nothing is really... fixed. Not really. Yes, there is some sort of base wrap around the bottom of the cabinets, but K. and I could have done a better job on our own. The gashes in the door frame were covered with a completely different shade of white paint. The range hood is now anchored by more screws, but it's crooked enough that when the maintenance supervisor was here yesterday he noticed it. The pipe in the bathroom is still... there. And so on and so forth.

Anyway... I'm tired of all my entries being about the mess it's become at the hands of the "professionals" that were forced upon us to make... improvements... that, for some reason unknown to us, couldn't wait until the middle of 2008 when we plan on moving.

But I do appreciate more than words can adequately express the emails and comments of support and reassurance that this too shall pass. And you're right. Eventually this ordeal will be over. Thank you for your concern and caring.

So! Onward. Upward.

A. is coming home early. A day early, but early nonetheless. The plane he'll be on lands tonight at 920pm (edt)... which means I'll miss the season premiere of CSI. I'm considering making him walk home. (Not really. Sort of.) Next week he'll be working in another city, but he'll be expensing a car and driving back and forth every day. We consider this a good thing. He'll be home for dinner (if we have dinner a bit later than usual) and I'll still have my car in case of an emergency or in case I just want to get out of this apartment. (Stop laughing! It happens... once in a while...)

K. is... well, she's doing well in school as far as I know. She's got a couple of friends she's wanting to drag with us to the zoo's Halloween thing this year, as well as wanting to go other places with them. It's got me a little twitchy 'cause of the money, but A. pointed out that she's been doing very well in school, been doing (most of) her chores without having to be coerced, and she's generally a good kid that deserves a chance to hang out with her friends... something that's not always been possible in the past. I agree. It's just... weird... for me, though I am glad to see her wanting to socialize. And maybe I'm seeing dollar signs where normally I wouldn't because the whole apartment ordeal has impacted me the most (with me being here 24/7) and has me spinning off-balance.

Also, K.'s birthday is fast approaching and I'm not sure what we want to do this year. She said she really didn't want to try and have another party that no one could attend because of the Halloween conflict, so we're thinking about a dinner. Last year we surprised her with a family dinner/party. She, A., and I were out running errands and decided to have dinner out because it was "getting late", she picked the restaurant, and SURPRISE!! there was a cake and balloons and presents and family waiting for us! She was completely surprised. I don't think I'll be able to pull that off again this year; the kid learns.

And me? I'm contemplating participating in NaNoWriMo this year. Yes, I've gone insane. I think it's from thinking about the upcoming holidays and the money I would normally spend during the last quarter of the year... and then thinking about how that money would be better spent if we put it towards some of the expenses that come with buying a house. And the thought that, for the first time in more than 20 years, I probably won't have a christmas tree. I know in my heart I will have one, even if I have to get a small fake table-top tree like I did one year when K. was tiny and we were broke. It didn't bother me then so much because she was entirely too young to notice or care, but she's much older now. Besides, I like having my home filled with the scent of the tree and it makes me smile to have one set up.

Speaking of the holidays...

Laura Williams is having a little giveaway in her blog for a Christmas Planner made by Marcia Francois. It's a dandy "13 pages of organizational wonderment that will get your rear in gear for the upcoming holiday season" according to Laura, and should be quite helpful.

Also, over at Overwhelmed with Joy! there's the 2nd Annual Holiday Cooking, Blogger Style Recipe Exchange coming up. Instructions and Mr. Linky go up on October 5, 2007, and from what I've read there were a lot of great recipes passed around last year and should be well worth the look.

And glancing over at everyone's favorite Organizing Junkie I find a few links for planning Christmas. Also, I see that she's gearing up to do another Organizing Challenge. Specific details are still under consideration last time I checked, but keep an eye on her. She'll announce it soon enough.

There's really not much else to say today. I'm itching to do some crafts, but almost all of my supplies are boxed up and stored away, and I don't want to spend the money to buy anything for a new project. I'm devouring what books are left on the bookshelves and clearing them out. I should be researching or plotting or something for any of the writing projects I have in progress or lurking about the edges of my brain, but I'm not and I'm at a loss as to why I can't bring myself to do so. Maybe I just need to leave this apartment for a while. Go out and walk around the mall or the park. Or something. Anything...

Update on Life

I'm having a hard time getting motivated today. Possibly because everything is just... chaotic. Everything is a mess, there's still stuff all over my dining room table where we were just too drained to put it all away last night, because there's stuff covering the dining room table (and chairs) there's no place for me to eat or sit down and write out my to do list and thoughts I have while I nurse a cup of tea like I usually do every morning, and on and on and on.

I have managed to get a few things done this morning. The FlyLady talks all the time about how anyone can do anything for 15 minutes. I haven't had to use my timer like she recommends in quite a while but I've fallen back on that hard this morning. I work for 15 minutes, then I lose it for 15 minutes. Or maybe that should be "I lose it for 15 minutes then pull myself together and get some work done for 15 minutes because the FlyLady says anyone can do anything for 15 minutes and I can hold it together for 15 solid minutes". Either way, there it is.

So, let's see if I can clear some of this stuff out of my head so I can stop falling apart every other 15 minutes and maybe actually accomplish something today... if it's nothing more than rewriting a chapter.

Just to be clear, all these pictures were taken yesterday. These are not old pictures. The color is off in some of these, but not that off.

So, this is that pipe in my bathtub that I keep talking about. This morning, it still looks like this.


These next few pictures were taken sometime between 10.30 and 11.30am yesterday while the cabinet guys were... missing. I don't know where they were, they just left and were gone for just over an hour. I'm assuming they went to go get the power tools and stuff they had when they got back.

This is my water heater. Normally, one cannot see it because it lives in the corner under/behind cabinets. There's no pan or anything under it. It sits on raw concrete and is not accessible in any way unless you take out the kitchen cabinets... which is fun when it springs a leak or needs to be cleaned or worked on or something. Take note of the undamaged door frame. Just to the left of the doorknob. That's going to be important shortly.


The... old... cabinets. On my front "lawn".


These next pictures were taken... later. They came back just before noon (I thought it was 1130, but checking my cell phone log I realize it was 1146am when A. called me to find out what I wanted from Subway since I couldn't fix myself lunch with the kitchen as it was and they showed back up about 10 minutes later) and worked until about 4.30pm. Then left. My kitchen was... a mess, and that's putting it not only politely but mildly.

The new cabinets don't... quite... fit into the space of the old cabinets. Also, I might add, the cabinet there over the sink is taller than the old one was, therefore, they jammed it into the space and mounted it directly atop the light fixture thus ensuring that they not only broke the fixture but that the cover -- or rather, a new cover since they also broke the old one -- will not fit over the light bulb again. There's nothing quite like having a bare fluorescent light bulb shining just above eye level every time you stand in front of the sink.


This is the lovely space where the spacer board between the dishwasher and the wall... stops. Four inches short of the floor. It's just... a hole. Hopefully I can keep the cats from shoving their paws in there. And keep whatever might be in there...in.


And my floor...






And, for some reason, they took the plate off this outlet. It was there when I took the first round of pictures while they were missing, so sometime after they got back it vanished. We don't know why. Or where it went. But as of this morning, it's still just like this.


I can't get a picture of it because it... sort of... looks ok, just a little... crooked... which is why I noticed it, but when they remounted the range hood they only bothered to do so with the two front screws. They just... jammed... the back into place. It's sort of sitting at an angle where the back is trying hard to fall.

There are a lot of other little things -- like the adhesive all over my floor and the unbraced sink and the drip under the sink that I can't find the source of and the seriously messed up dead space in the corner (not blind space that's hard to reach but DEAD space, as in, they BLOCKED OFF that corner so that it's completely unusable) where I used to keep all my rarely used cooking utensils (like the waffle maker, little food processor, certain mixing bowls only used at the holidays, etc.) -- but nothing I could really capture with a photograph.

They left my apartment a mess, but before they left they stacked all the crap in front of my apartment all nice and neat. Glancing out the window this morning at a little after 11am (edt), yup, it's still there. Only now it's soggy because it rained quite a bit last night.


Oh, and remember I said to take note of the undamaged door frame earlier? This is what it looked like when they left.


I suppose, though, that I should be grateful. They were supposed to do three units in this complex yesterday. The maintenance guy that came by after A. turned in my typed list of complaints said that the people in the other two units got home and called the office. Their cabinets were sitting in their dining rooms. I'm soooo thankful I told the manager that I wanted to be the first apartment of the day. I can't begin to imagine how pissed A. would have been (not to mention how pissed I would have been) if they'd not gotten to us at all yesterday and everything that was in the kitchen had to sit under and on the dining room table while we ate fast food again.

My mom told me that at least it's better than before, and I'm not so sure I agree (sorry Mom). Before, it was one cabinet under the sink that was completely rotted out and unusable. No one saw it and as long as I kept the cabinet doors blocked the cats stayed out of it and it was ignored. Now, everything is theoretically usable (I'm still not sure I trust that hood over my oven or the light over my sink and I've not run the dishwasher yet) but the entire kitchen looks like something out of the ghetto. Except for the pretty new white cabinets and dusky rose colored counter tops.

Sure, a reasonable landlord would see to fixing these complaints and fixing the damage that was done by the work crew they hired. I think under different circumstances these items would be taken care of to our satisfaction within 48 hours. But circumstances aren't different. I honestly think they're overwhelmed and trying to take care of too many issues at once. I don't think they're being able to devote any real attention to things that come up, especially emergencies, but at the same time they're trying to make improvements, possibly to keep the current tenants happy, and not being able to do any of the jobs RIGHT.

Why do I think that? Today at 930am marked the official time that it's been three full weeks from the day my bathroom was gutted (it was gutted the morning of August 30, 2007 between 830 and 930am) and my bathtub STILL looks like it does in the above picture. Three weeks of having a pipe sticking out of my tub wall. They say it takes 21 days for a habit to form. I'm not sure what bothers me most at this point, that I still have a pipe sticking out of my bathtub wall or the fact that we're getting used to it.

In other news... well, there's not much else.

K. is doing well at school. She and her father have some big science fair meeting to go to tonight (A. told me I could stay home and cook dinner instead). The official progress report she brought home yesterday has her pulling in A's in Honors Reading, Social Studies/Geography, and Honors Math. She's pulling in a B in Honors Science. For some reason she's pulling a C in Honors Language Arts. It seems to be grammar related but it was hard to tell with the information on the sheet that went back to school today. All her teachers seem to think she's a delightful child and her conduct grades are all "satisfactory".

A. is doing work stuff. He has some travel plans soon, but they're slipping my mind at the moment.

And me? A. let me borrow his lap top the other night and set it up for me in the bedroom. I sat on the bed and wrote without distraction while A. and K. watched tv and/or played x-box in the living room. I... accomplished... something, and it felt good. Last night I accomplished nothing. A. set me up in the bedroom again and I dozed more than I typed. After the previous night's accomplishment, last night was a huge blow that I'm feeling especially hard this morning. Except for the other night, I haven't written in over a month. With no crafts to do (supplies are in boxes somewhere, probably in storage again) writing is my only creative outlet... and not being able to write is tearing me apart, especially this past week as I'm just starting to hear some of my characters again (they all went missing for a while). I'm tired. And I'm frustrated. But I need to push on through the day, so I guess I'll close this, set my timer again, and get on with it.

Wake-up call #84351

Like many people, I check my horoscope. I don't always check it daily, and I usually check it at night so that I can reflect on how my day went then decide how close the horoscope was. Most days it ranges from "close" to "dead spot on". A lot of days it makes me giggle with how close it comes and sometimes I wonder if my day would have gone any better (or if/how it would have been different) had I read the email that delivers my horoscope earlier in the day.

I opened that email this morning because yesterday just sucked and shattered a whole lot of eggs in my various baskets. After checking yesterday's email this morning I decided I needed to know what today's said, because had I read yesterday's email yesterday morning I would have been better prepared and then my brain wouldn't have exploded quite so much yesterday afternoon. (*deep breath*)

The horoscope comes with a general look at the day and then the more traditional sun sign reading.

Today's Outlook: The Moon in peaceful Libra today helps us smooth over the rough edges as we strive for harmony, especially after the challenges we faced yesterday. Fortunately, we get some common sense from energetic Mars, now stabilized in practical Taurus. But Mars forms a dynamic sextile with crazy Uranus, adding fuel to the determined engine of progress. Although we may be very unconventional, we can be brilliant as innovative breakthroughs come easily.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21):You might be very optimistic, believing that anything is possible. Still, you must remember that the real world does have practical limitations based upon immutable physical laws. Nevertheless, you can pull off some amazing stunts by bending the rules. Pushing the limits can help you to achieve the maximum effect.

So, yeah. Sort of a little nudge from the Universe that reinforces the idea that we'll be ok. Just what I needed this morning.

So yesterday? Yeah. A. went to the dentist yesterday. Wait, back track a bit. A. went to the dentist Wednesday afternoon. Not having been in a while, he needed to have some deep cleaning done. That is, he needed to have that scraping/scaling thing done where they dig under the gum line and scraaaaaaape gunk off the lower parts of the teeth. He was given an estimate/price sheet sort of paper that put the insurance adjusted prices at not quite $200. No biggie. That's why I have a dental fund going, right?

He set the appointment for that for yesterday (Thursday) afternoon. From what he said, he's sitting in the chair with "bamboo shoots under [his] gums" and they hand him the new estimate/price sheet... with a whopping grand total of $971.89.

That doesn't even touch the crown work he needs done.

Apparently he had some pretty deep pockets (what is he? a chipmunk??) and they decided they needed to pack those pockets with antibiotics... at $89 per pocket.

He did manage to talk them into delaying a couple of the things they wanted to do to him, so the bill yesterday was for $611.93... but he has to go back in 4 - 6 weeks to get the rest done, and there's still crown work looming in the future.

Needless to say, my brain went *pop* when he got home. Had it been me, I'd have left the pockets antibiotic free, paid the $200ish dollars out of the dental fund and since we put $100 each month into the dental fund, just gone back once a month to get another one done. Or, more likely, just avoided the dentist again until I had the money saved up. But that's me, and I'm the idiot with a temporary crown that's just about 6 years old (it was put in at the beginning of August 2001; company I was working for sold the division I was in right after 9/11, only the new owner(s) didn't want to keep the employees so I lost my job and I lost my dental insurance. I had to cancel the appointment I had in November to have the crown put in and I've not been in a position since that time to get it taken care of).

So yesterday afternoon my brain was going 'splodey. In a bad way. I sent him to buy his lottery tickets and a pack of cigarettes for me, even though I stopped smoking almost two years ago.

Four chain-smoked cigarettes later I was ok again. Yes, this is a bad hit for us financially. No, this isn't the best time ever for it to hit. Yes, it could have come at a much worse time. Yes, it completely zeroes out the dental fund I'd been building - the bulk of which was earmarked for K.'s braces. And yes, it either completely zeroes out our emergency fund or the money we've been putting aside for the last few months for a down payment on a house. And yes, there's still the roughly $500 more we have to come up with in 4 - 6 weeks, and then the additional $750 or so for the crown work that really should be taken care of as soon as possible.

But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse. And this morning I've been reminded that God doesn't allow us to be burdened with more than we can carry and he made me the way I am for a reason.

I can't fix this situation, but I can make sure we get through it.

Yes, things will be tight - almost painfully tight - for the next few months, maybe even the next year and my family may actually have to watch some of the nearly 400 movies/seasons of television shows we own rather than going to the movies or picking up stuff from BlockBuster. No, we may not actually be able to swing a house at the end of the new lease (July 2008) like we had planned. Yes, I will have to put off the dental work that I need done. Yes, I may even have to delay K.'s dental visit for a few months. No, I have no idea how I'll deal with her birthday since all the "extra" money I was setting aside will vanish for a while. And no, I don't even know how I'll deal with christmas. Yet.

But things could have been worse. Much, much worse. We've crawled out from bigger hits than this intact. And really, when I step back and look at the whole big picture, I needed this to happen. I've been lax with the budgeting in the last two months. We've been very indulgent with whims and desires lately, partly to make up for last decade. This little incident is the Universe's way of telling me "Ok, kitten, play time is over. Get back to work, get back on track. Find the balance."

So, yeah, things will be tough for a while again, but because of this situation I've realized where some holes in my budget are, and I've realized that we have more "extra" money than I thought, and if I can caress the budget just right, we may just end up better off by the time this ordeal is over.

And those cigarettes I sent him after last night? They're gone. I don't need them today. I haven't needed them since the end of the fourth one last night.

Making tortillas

Instead of talking about how some stranger (bug spray guy) was in my apartment while I was sleeping this morning, I'm going to recount (with pictures!) yesterday's fun.

On Sunday we made homemade tortillas. Well, technically A. and K. made them, and I gave advice from behind the camera while I took pictures. I have to admit, they were good. Very good. And far easier than I would have thought. Since we've always had a "YUCK"-factor whenever we used any store-bought tortillas (and ended up throwing them all out), I think we'll just make our own from now on.

Yes, I took pictures. I'm behind in posting them, but... eh. I've been busy. I have been making it a habit to cook with the camera within reach (much to the dismay of my family, who often get recruited for the actual cooking part while I play photographer).

So, pictures!

A. made the dough. Sadly, I didn't get pictures of that. I didn't think about it until after they were rolling it out. By the time I had the camera in my hand, K. had taken over and A. was elsewhere. First, she would get one of the little balls they'd made.

Then she got some flour...

and dusted the little ball with it.

After that, she would pat it out, flattening it a little bit.

After she had it more or less flattened, she would start to roll it out using an old Disney glass from Burger King because I am in desperate need of a new rolling pin.

From time to time she would stop to pat it out, sometimes dusting it with a bit more flour.

After she was all done, she would peel up the raw tortilla and put it on a piece of wax paper atop the growing stack waiting to be cooked.

After K. was done rolling all the dough out, A. came in and started cooking the tortillas.

Over and over and over again, until we had a lovely little stack of tasty home-made tortillas!

After the tortillas had cooled and it was nearing time for dinner, I went in and made Simple Taco Meat (see my tweaks to the recipe here).

It was a good meal, and everyone had at least a little bit of fun. Even with the fun factor, I think next time I'll make them myself while they're at school and work.

Oh, and those tortillas? They're good spread with peanut butter and wrapped around a banana, too.

Coming soon: playing with a coconut.

Menu; rewind, repeat.

This past week was a miserable failure on my part. A. keeps pointing out that I was BURNED but, yeah, that really doesn't make me feel much better. I know I was burned to the point that I couldn't do anything, but it still feels like I failed for the week. I guess that's an internal issue I need to work on.

Even with A. getting home early (Wednesday instead of Friday), last week's menu was completely thrown out the window. He neither had the time nor the inclination to prepare the dishes I had planned, and I was in no shape to do anything but sit and sleep.

On the plus side, though, K. (sort of) got over that "I can't" thing and learned that she CAN... at least when it comes to cooking. She's quick to point out that I talked her through it, and I'm just as quick to point out that I only talked her through it the first couple of times and the last few times she made grilled cheese sandwiches, I didn't even know she was until I smelled them! She's still VERY hesitant to drain boiling noodles, but otherwise she can cook them without much assistance. All in all, I'm VERY proud of her. Now, if I can just keep that momentum rolling forward...

I'm still suffering through the burns, but they're subsiding quicker now. Not quite as quickly as the sun's love normally fades on me, but quick enough, I suppose. The range of motion in both arms is getting a little wider with each passing day, and by Tuesday morning I hope to be able to wear a shirt (and wash my hair) with very little pain.

Also, this Tuesday there's an open house at the middle school K. will be at next year from 6pm to 7pm, and that same night, she has a bell concert and has to be at (her current) school before 630pm. I talked to the vice-principal of next year's school, explained the situation and he said to show up around 545pm for the open house. We won't be able to make the whole tour and stuff, but he'll personally greet us and try to show us around a bit until the first tour starts. This makes Tuesday evening extremely cramped for time. We'll have to leave here no later than 515pm and won't get back until close to 8pm. I have NO clue what to do for dinner that night as there won't be any breaks for fast food stops, and we either eat around 4/430pm or not until after 8pm.

And Friday... oye. K. has a field trip to MGM Studios (in Orlando) on Friday and A. is playing chaperone. They have to be at school before 7am Friday morning and won't get back until after 7pm that night. Dinner? Who knows. Chances are I'll be by myself, and I'm not entirely sure they'll want to eat when they get home. And me? I'd just as soon eat a grilled cheese sandwich if I'm by myself for dinner.

So the menu this week? Yeah, a bit of "rewind, repeat" going on here, with a few minor tweaks. Sometimes life just works out that way.

Sunday: lunch: sandwiches/soup/leftovers (clean out the refrigerator time!)
        dinner: spaghetti and meatballs, salad, bread
Monday: breaded cod, baked potatoes, broccoli, mixed vegetables
Tuesday: ??? Chick-fil-A
Wednesday: rice and beans, salad, toasted garlic bread
Thursday: Ginger Pork, rice, broccoli Chick-fil-A
Friday: ??? (possibly butter (lima) beans, hoe cakes, salad OR a grilled cheese sandwich for me) Ginger Pork, rice, broccoli
Saturday: lunch: leftovers/sandwiches/soup (possibly home made pizza, depending on how I feel by then and what's on the agenda)
        dinner: Simple Taco Meat with homemade tortillas (still not sure about making my own tortillas), buttery peas & rice (recipe on the same page and just below the taco meat one) more leftovers


[edit] And a quote. Because when I saw it, I liked it. And more people in this world need to be reminded...

"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin (real life) but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." ~ Alfred D'Souza

I got sun...

You know you're sun burned when the aloe gel you smear on one arm is completely dried before you're even done smearing the other arm.

But I feel better.

I guess whatever bug was occupying my body decided that five hours in the sun (on black top, no less) wasn't its idea of fun, and left.

On the down side of that, I'm fried. I mean REALLY fried, too.

But, I am a natural blond and my skin, though it does burn from time to time, tends to tolerate the sun's fiery kiss much better than another's. It's rare that I have to use aloe gel (it's most often reserved for A. and K.) and I have every faith that I'll be fine in a few days... if it even takes that long. The real tale of how bad this burn is will be told tomorrow morning when I get out of bed.

Also, A. thinks he'll be coming home Wednesday. There's no confirmation on that, though. He'll find out more tomorrow.

I need a nap.

Recap of Days

Peggy commented to my "A Decade of Clutter" post (here) that "It sounds like you had a particularly tough few years there" and, well, yeah, I guess they were tough, but those times don't define me. That post was just a small glimpse of a small section of the past decade, mostly written to remind myself why I have the mess I have even though I clean daily (my daughter thanks me often for keeping the bathroom so "sparkly"). Life... it's not all been bad, and I thank God often that things weren't worse than they were. I know they could have been a lot worse, especially with the lack of sleep I had going on there for a while.

That being out of the way, the past few days have been sort of busy, while at the same time... not really.

Friday K. was out of school and though we cleaned a bit, we mostly spent the day playing together. We had a small hiccup in the day when the water went out for a few hours in the middle of the afternoon, but luckily the washer had already finished running so it didn't burn up!

We also made some chocolate chip banana bread, and then giggled at the pitiful way the results turned out. I think I need to either find my old recipe or find a different one than the one we used. Still, it wasn't horrible. It tasted pretty good (it was so good the whole loaf has been eaten already!), and it was fun baking it with K., as she actually helped.

A. came home Friday night, and when he walked in the door (with us behind him) he was greeted by the smell of not only the pot roast in the crock pot (I'd left it on low after K. and I ate so his food would stay warm) but also boiled peanuts in the other crock pot! Surprise!

Saturday... um. Oh. We were supposed to get up early and go to an Easter egg hunt but that didn't turn out so well. A. was tired from traveling and K. was tired from other stuff and I got up out of bed just after 7am and had some quiet time while they slept. By the time both of them got up, all (three) of the holiday events happening were over so we cooked lunch and ran some last minute grocery errands during the late afternoon, coming home to cook dinner and sprawl about with our respective books or to watch tv.

Sunday we went to my mom's and while A. watched tv (Mom has cable) K. and Mom colored eggs, and I sort of helped/supervised. Then we all sprawled about Mom's living room to watch part of a movie then came home to cook dinner.

Today it's rather cool (it's after 4pm and barely 58 degrees F... in Central Florida... in April...) and it keeps trying to rain but isn't really having much luck with that. K. is out of school again today and we seem to be having another "quiet" day. It's kind of nice to be able to spend time in the same room with my family and none of us yelling at anyone else. Another glimpse of another sliver, I suppose. We're all sort of doing our own things, just in the same area with a strange sort of peace lingering over us.

The cleaning? I'll get back to that tomorrow.

Family Fun

We went to the AirFest out at the base today.

Wow.

We were only there for a few hours, and those were the last few hours of the show. We showed up just to watch the Blue Angels fly.

See, Mom had taken K. out there yesterday and they saw a few of the earlier flying exhibits from the car before they had to leave. Mom told K. a lot about the Blue Angels and K. really wanted to see them. So despite all that we had to do today to prepare for A.'s flight tomorrow, we drove the 45 minutes or so to the Air Force base on the other end of town, sat in traffic for nearly 20 minutes, walked nearly 45 minutes from the parking area to where the air show was actually being held, stood around in the sun watching the Blue Angels for 45 minutes, spent the next 30-45 minutes trying to get autographs (got one Blue Angel pilot's and took a picture of K. with him - she was thrilled), then made the hike BACK to the car where we sat for 20-30 minutes before we even got the chance to get back into the main flow of traffic.

It was so very worth it. K. loved the Blue Angel's show, and after several attempts, I managed to finally catch them splitting. The picture quality itself is rather poor, but I'm sure they're much better than what the people taking pictures with their cell phones got. Out of all the pictures I took today, this one is my favorite. I'll be posting others at my flickr account tomorrow.

And with all the fun, there was bound to be a bit of a downer thrown in. The Universe likes to keep such balance, after all. A., being a natural red-head, is burned pretty good on all exposed skin areas. K., being 10 and not quite as fair-skinned as her father, is experiencing her first ever sun burn. Thankfully it's just her shoulders and the top half of her upper arms, with just a bit on her chest. She wore a tank top today. I... well, I'm a natural blond and a reformed sun-loving desert rat (I haven't spent much time in the sun at all in the past 15 years). I'm a bit charred around the edges, meaning my face is all pink and I can feel the heat it in, but I'll be fine in a day or two.

I think K. now understands why I'm always pushing her and her father to wear their sunblock, and I don't think she'll balk so much when I reach for it for a while. I haven't decided yet if I'll keep her home tomorrow or not. I'll decide in the morning when I get her up. It may be a good day to keep her home and let her sprawl on the couch and re-watch Happy Feet while her skin soaks up all the aloe gel it can handle.

New drinking glasses and other stuff

I got married in February of 1992. That means I've been married just over 15 years. During that time, we've never had a matching set of drinking glasses. We've had glasses, and I suppose you could say they were a set if you consider a sampling of various novelty glasses from Burger King and other places a "set". So the last time A. was out of town, K. and I happened to be browsing through Wal-Mart while waiting for the rain to stop (we were there to fill a prescription which they ended up not being able to fill) and noticed a nice pattern that we both loved. When A. got home we drug him out to look at them and within days we had a set. Not from Wal-Mart, but from Target. The set at Target was a bit smaller; 6 large glasses and 6 small glasses. The picture is the pattern. It's from Anchor Hocking and called Starfire. So, these are my new glasses.

Now I'm browsing for new dishes. I'd like to have my very own set of dishes before my next anniversary. The set we're currently using is the set we took from my grandparents when we got married. They were getting rid of them because they got new dishes for their 50th wedding anniversary that year. They had been using the set we are now using since before I was born. It's time they were put to rest and I had a set of dishes of my own. I'm all for family history and such, but it's just time to let these dishes go.

*********

We got pretty much all of the grocery shopping done today after A. got home. The only thing left on the list are personal supplies for both K. and myself. Seeing as how she's with my mother tonight, we'll go do that shopping tomorrow night or Sunday afternoon. We're hoping to make it to a few health food stores to check out the alternatives to the mainstream supplies. I believe in giving her at least a few of the options I never had, as well as letting her make informed decisions when it comes to her body.

This leaves much of the weekend free. I may do some cleaning, or I may just relax. I haven't decided yet. The nightmares of late have me all wound up and overly tired so I may do a bit of both. It will depend greatly, however, on what A. wants to do, and what K. wants to do when she gets back from my mother's. Chances are that I won't be on line much, if at all.

A. leaves town again Monday morning so K. and I will be alone next week. I already have the core of the menu worked up and will finish it this weekend. I'll have to finish it tomorrow and post it. Nothing too terribly creative. K. and I eat a bit differently when A. is out of town.

I'm going to take advantage of the time A. is out of town and do a lot of cleaning. I've decided that I'm going to do a sort of modified 30-Day Organizational Challenge and not post pictures unless my target areas aren't clean by the end of the specified time frame. Seeing as how I will do anything to avoid having pictures of my home put on the internet, I should have things pretty well wrapped up by the end of the challenge.

Also, I have decided that I need an anvil. A., however, has decided that I most certainly do not need one. I don't see any sort of a compromise in the future on this one.

Money... (and stuff)

It's a very strange experience to be barely out of bed when I check the bank balance to verify a paycheck deposit, open my budget spread sheet, groggily blink at everything and realize that I've done such a good job on setting up the household finances that all I have to do is verify payments, update the balances on my spread sheets, and decide where the surplus goes. The experience becomes even more strange when I realize that the numbers are going up.

The emergency fund is growing.

The slush savings is growing.

Even the ING savings is growing.

And there's still money left over after all the regular monthly expenses for this half of the month are accounted for.

It's just... weird... for me. I'm sure it'll normalize eventually. I guess I'm still adjusting from having the majority of A.'s paychecks sucked up by debt to having actual surplus and wiggle room in the budget each pay period. Weird as it may be, it makes me giddy to see the balances on the savings (all three accounts) rising. It means things are moving in the right direction. And I like it when things move in the right direction.

*********

Another short 'to do' list for today. Besides cleaning the bathroom, it's mostly laundry and finalizing the grocery shopping list. A. has my car today so I might do some cleaning around here while I wait for him to come home. He's supposed to be home "around lunch".

K. is spending the night with my mother tonight. They have a tentative date for a drive-in and a car picnic. K. has never been to a drive-in so it's bound to be an experience for her.

*********

I have decided that I'll be going to the doctor some time this year (which reminds me, note to self: add HSA account to the budget book this weekend) and as such, I've also decided that until that time I'll be keeping a sort of health diary. I'm tired of every doctor I've ever seen telling me that whatever I'm complaining about (from joint pain to exhaustion to infected sinuses) is just a result of my weight when I KNOW that it's not (basically because the complaints either came before the weight or, in the case of infected sinuses, not weight related at all). So what's going in this nifty little health diary of mine are the things the next doctor needs to know about me: my daily weight, how much sleep I get and when, what I eat and when, what exercises I do and when, and how I feel in general, both emotionally and physically. Tedious? Yes. Necessary? I'm beginning to think so. I can't go for the rest of my life avoiding doctors because they piss me off by not being able to see past my weight. Yes, I know I need to lose weight, but don't blame everything that's wrong on my weight.

*********

Website update! I ordered the space for my website the other day and everything is transferred over and looks to be in running condition. www.consecratedheart.com I am happy.

I think it's time for another cup of tea. I know it's time to be poking at the laundry.

I'd like to say that I've spent this past week cleaning like mad and accomplishing all sorts of things, but alas, it's just not so. All I've really done during this past week is spend time with my family. With K. out of school and A. home, we've spent time sprawling around and wandering around, both to run errands and just to have fun. One day, A. even bathed the cats and K. and I dried them.

A.'s travel plans for next week have changed. They've been pushed back until the 2nd of April. He has told me, however, that even though he'll be in town this coming week he'll be going into the office for at least part of the days.

K. has all but completely recovered from being sick. She still has a few doses of antibiotics left, but I believe those end on Monday. I could be mistaken about that, though, seeing as how I'm sort of keeping my distance from her antibiotics since it's suspected that I'm allergic to them. A. has been handling nearly all the dispensing of doses lately. Since she's feeling better, K. will be going back to school on Monday.

With A. and K. both returning to their respective places, I'm expecting that I'll be able to get myself back on schedule. Or at least an altered schedule. I am expecting A. to be getting home just about the time K. normally gets off the bus (if not before) so I think our afternoons will be a little different than usual.

One accomplishment that I made this past week is that I finally, after seven long years, decided on a domain name for myself. I've already registered it but I'm taking my time in setting up space for it and transferring my site from where it is currently to the new space.

I guess... I guess this past week has just been a pleasant little mini-vacation of sorts for me.

And everyone goes back to work or school Monday.

"It's just what moms do."

See, this is how my schedule gets completely screwed up. K. gets sick, and I'm the one that doesn't sleep for a week.

I started to go to bed earlier (around 10pm? 1030?) but stopped to check on her first. She was burning up. I made her get up and sort of took her temperature. I couldn't get her to be awake/coherent enough hold the thermometer properly. It still registered 101.9F. I got her up, gave her some Tylenol and made her drink some apple juice. I swear the kid was asleep before she was even back in bed.

And then I started doing the mom thing. A.? He was already asleep. Not me, though. I've been cleaning and checking on K. every 20 - 30 minutes, both for her temperature and for adverse effects of the meds the doctor prescribed for her. The last thing I want is for her to have an allergic reaction to something in the middle of the night while we're I'm sleeping. I can't see how that would be a good thing.

Oh. Update on her doctor appointment. I started to do it earlier but there was some maintenance going on and it ate my entry. Anyway, diagnosis: acute sinusitis. She got antibiotics and Rhino-something-or-another to squirt up her nose. She's pleased about neither of them, let me tell you.

And no, I'm not one of those mothers that rushes their kid to the doctor with every sniffle or sneeze. I am, however, one of those mothers that knows how intensely bad an allergic reaction to a drug can be and how suddenly it can come on. I don't hover over her, but any time she takes a new drug I watch her as much as I can for the first twelve or so hours. This particular time it just happened that she took the new drugs just before she went to bed.

Anyway, A. got up a little while ago (actually, I woke him up to take the garbage out to the dumpster; he wasn't pleased but he did it) and was all sorts of grumpy about me being up. He told me that K. was fine (duh, and not really. 102 temps are not "fine" in my book) and that kids take drugs all the time and are fine. And he's right. My only response was to shrug and tell him "Until her fever comes down enough that I don't have to worry about her bursting into flames or having to rush her to the ER, I'm cleaning and checking on her."

He sighed at me. "Why??"

I shrugged again with a crooked (and very exhausted) smile and said "It's just what moms do."