Sunday, July 13, 2008

A... mole?

So, apparently I'm a mole. I think it might be off a bit, but then again, maybe not. Not the way I've been recently.


Genera and species: Castor canadensis
Collective Term: A business of beavers

It's easy to recognize the mole personality. For one thing, they have a pasty complexion and are usually seen in late night coffee shop, jazz bars, or underground clubs. To avoid drawing attention to themselves, they favor dark clothing and sunglasses and are the first people to volunteer for the graveyard shift.

The mole is a smallish individual with far more power than its flaccid body suggests, although its strength is more mental than physical. With its ability to focus on the job at hand, there is no situation from which a mole cannot extricate itself.

There's something compelling about the mole personality, and in the early sixties it was quite fashionable to be a mole in the form of a creative and philosophical beatnik -- expressing angst through music and poetry. Bob Dylan and John Lennon carried the mole standard into the seventies, but the fashion largely died and moles were forced back underground.

Moles are restless and although constantly engaged in activity, they never seem to get anything done and despite their drab appearance, they have extremely sharp minds and are excellent problem solvers. As reflected in their determined burrowing through difficult terrain, moles prefer solutions with straight lines rather than having to go around problems. When confronted with difficult issues, they never give up -- hacking away with dogged determination until the answer is found. This attribute makes them perfect for jobs in engineering, accounting or diagnostic work.

Sex is not the most important thing in the mole's life but if there is one animal personality that can push all the right buttons; it would be its soul mate, the bat. (like Yoko Ono) The bat and the mole share a love for dark intimacy and when these two get together, black magic is bound to happen.

Careers and Hobbies
Grave digger

Famous Moles
Bob Dylan, John Lennon.

So, um, just how does one pick up grave digging as a hobby?

Sweet dreams, I'm off to be before I get into any more trouble.

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