Excuse me? I'm...what...??

It doesn't happen often anymore, but still I get the occasional flaming email from someone feeling the need to judge me based solely on my decision to be a stay-at-home mom. That's right, you heard me. Based SOLELY on my decision to be a stay-at-home mom.

Apparently, according to this latest... ahem... person, I am not only completely undoing women's lib but I'm also validating men's beliefs that women are "no better than stupid brood mares not fit for anything but a life of sex and servitude". Apparently, according to this... person, I am giving up "all rights as an individual" and becoming "completely dependent on a male" to run my life for me.

Apparently this... person... doesn't know me. At all. Or any stay-at-home moms, for that matter.

I could go on a wild rant about this, but I'm not. I'm exercising my self-restraint, and rather admirably, too, because believe me when I say that this is a subject I can RANT about. I will, however, make just a few observations (for which I'm sure I'll be thrashed wickedly by someone or another):

• Stay-at-home moms work. Anyone that doesn't believe this should shadow me for a week. And I'm on the "easy" end of the spectrum; I have only one child (which is limited to one "extra" activity a semester) that goes to public school, I live in an apartment, and I don't do near as much baking/cooking as some stay-at-home moms I know.



• Most of the women that "give up" their "identities" don't see it as such. At most, they see it as trading one identity for another... when they bother to think about it at all. That's not to say that there aren't some rather resentful stay-at-home women out there, but they still make the choice to abide by whatever circumstances make them feel that way.



• Stay-at-home moms aren't stupid. They weren't stupid before they made the choice to stay at home to raise their children and dedicate themselves to their family, so why is it that people think they're stupid after that choice is made? Our brains don't switch off or fall out, yet for some reason, once that choice is made, people - both men and women - treat us as if we are stupid, as if our brains have indeed fallen out, and our opinions and thoughts cease to matter, no matter what they may be. Surprisingly, this is an attitude we stay-at-home moms periodically have to battle against within our own homes, too. Surprisingly, there are some husbands that occasionally forget how smart their wives are.



• Women that are so intensely critical of those women that do make the CHOICE to stay at home are no better than the men in our government today who are taking away women's rights over their own bodies. (naamah_darling has a wonderful entry here about those men, and just for the record, I am and always have been pro-choice... meaning that while I don't believe abortion is right, I will fight to the death for any woman's RIGHT TO MAKE THAT CHOICE for whatever reason she may have.) These women seem to forget that just because our fore-mothers fought so hard for women's rights and women's liberation, not all women want to be the all-powerful super-mom proving we can do it all. They wouldn't dream of forcing a woman to have a child against her will, or staying in a marriage she didn't want to be in against her will, or taking away any other freedom of choice rights women enjoy today... yet they're all too eager to condemn a woman for making the choice to stay at home to raise her children. How long, then, will it be before women actively aid in taking away a woman's right to choose to stay at home?



• It's amazed me time and time again that so many employed women (whether they be married or single, have children or don't) find it offensive that another woman makes the choice to quit her job to take care of her family. As a woman that made that choice, I've been called "selfish", "a traitor to [my] gender", "stupid", and many more things. I've heard the same frustrated sighs (and occasionally confused sobs) from other women who have also had such words flung at them because they made the choice to stay at home. Yet no one - and believe me, I've asked - has ever been able to tell me WHY we offend these women so much. More than once I've been told I am too stupid to understand so they wouldn't waste the time and effort to explain it to me. Is it just because we don't hold to the same beliefs, ideals, and priorities that they do? Or is there something else going on there that I'm just not seeing?

There are undoubtedly more observations I've made over the past decade, but I'm starting to slip into rant-mode and that's not a place I want to go right now.

Life...

And a quote that I added on to the last entry. Because when I saw it, I liked it. And more people in this world need to be reminded...

"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin (real life) but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." ~ Alfred D'Souza

Menu; rewind, repeat.

This past week was a miserable failure on my part. A. keeps pointing out that I was BURNED but, yeah, that really doesn't make me feel much better. I know I was burned to the point that I couldn't do anything, but it still feels like I failed for the week. I guess that's an internal issue I need to work on.

Even with A. getting home early (Wednesday instead of Friday), last week's menu was completely thrown out the window. He neither had the time nor the inclination to prepare the dishes I had planned, and I was in no shape to do anything but sit and sleep.

On the plus side, though, K. (sort of) got over that "I can't" thing and learned that she CAN... at least when it comes to cooking. She's quick to point out that I talked her through it, and I'm just as quick to point out that I only talked her through it the first couple of times and the last few times she made grilled cheese sandwiches, I didn't even know she was until I smelled them! She's still VERY hesitant to drain boiling noodles, but otherwise she can cook them without much assistance. All in all, I'm VERY proud of her. Now, if I can just keep that momentum rolling forward...

I'm still suffering through the burns, but they're subsiding quicker now. Not quite as quickly as the sun's love normally fades on me, but quick enough, I suppose. The range of motion in both arms is getting a little wider with each passing day, and by Tuesday morning I hope to be able to wear a shirt (and wash my hair) with very little pain.

Also, this Tuesday there's an open house at the middle school K. will be at next year from 6pm to 7pm, and that same night, she has a bell concert and has to be at (her current) school before 630pm. I talked to the vice-principal of next year's school, explained the situation and he said to show up around 545pm for the open house. We won't be able to make the whole tour and stuff, but he'll personally greet us and try to show us around a bit until the first tour starts. This makes Tuesday evening extremely cramped for time. We'll have to leave here no later than 515pm and won't get back until close to 8pm. I have NO clue what to do for dinner that night as there won't be any breaks for fast food stops, and we either eat around 4/430pm or not until after 8pm.

And Friday... oye. K. has a field trip to MGM Studios (in Orlando) on Friday and A. is playing chaperone. They have to be at school before 7am Friday morning and won't get back until after 7pm that night. Dinner? Who knows. Chances are I'll be by myself, and I'm not entirely sure they'll want to eat when they get home. And me? I'd just as soon eat a grilled cheese sandwich if I'm by myself for dinner.

So the menu this week? Yeah, a bit of "rewind, repeat" going on here, with a few minor tweaks. Sometimes life just works out that way.

Sunday: lunch: sandwiches/soup/leftovers (clean out the refrigerator time!)
        dinner: spaghetti and meatballs, salad, bread
Monday: breaded cod, baked potatoes, broccoli, mixed vegetables
Tuesday: ??? Chick-fil-A
Wednesday: rice and beans, salad, toasted garlic bread
Thursday: Ginger Pork, rice, broccoli Chick-fil-A
Friday: ??? (possibly butter (lima) beans, hoe cakes, salad OR a grilled cheese sandwich for me) Ginger Pork, rice, broccoli
Saturday: lunch: leftovers/sandwiches/soup (possibly home made pizza, depending on how I feel by then and what's on the agenda)
        dinner: Simple Taco Meat with homemade tortillas (still not sure about making my own tortillas), buttery peas & rice (recipe on the same page and just below the taco meat one) more leftovers


[edit] And a quote. Because when I saw it, I liked it. And more people in this world need to be reminded...

"For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin (real life) but there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." ~ Alfred D'Souza

Failure.

Sadly, I'm out of the challenge.

I don't know which hurts worse; the failure or the burns.

On Monday afternoon I was stupid enough to stand outside in the parking lot for five hours and am now suffering through the serious burns that resulted. I'm not sure what condition(s) was (were) so different that day than all those other days I've been outside, but... sometimes things like this just happen.

How bad could this sun burn be, you ask?

Well, first let me say that I'm a natural blond and my skin tends to soak up sun like a sponge. Sometimes slower, sometimes faster. I rarely ever put any sort of sun block on (often opting instead for "tanning" products) and almost never have to pamper a burn after exposure to the sun. Normally, when I spend several hours out in the sun, I get red, the next day I'm pink, and the day after I'm whatever shade of tan my skin has settled on. Very rarely does any portion of the "red" stage hurt.

So how bad am I? Today, right now, I'm about 5 hours away from three full days since the moment when I finally came in out of the sun on Monday, and the aloe gel with lidocaine that K. has been slathering all over my outer shoulders and upper arms both day and night still doesn't do squat for me. The cold wet rags being put on my skin? If you remove them 5-7 minutes later, they're quite warm (K. pointed that out with a shocked gasp yesterday evening), and well on their way to being dried onto my skin a hour later. My skin glows red and is showing almost no fading in color, even around the edges. At least I didn't blister.

A. (who finally made it home last night) has told me to "sit and rest", and that's pretty much what I do. With minimal pain I can surf the 'net (which has led to some great finds in the financial field) but I get twitchy after too long and want to get up and walk around. Typing is slightly painful, and I find that not only am I slower, but I'm also missing keys more than usual with the limited range of motion. Reading is on the agenda, but with some difficulty; holding the book up is slightly painful and turning the pages is pretty painful, but I'm working on it. Eating is out of the question unless someone has the foresight enough to leave something prepared for me where I can reach it without moving my arms too much; I'm finding biscotti and water to be a quite satisfying these past few days. Cleaning myself in any manner is excruciatingly painful, and today is the first day I've not managed a shower (yet. That may change later. I'm waiting for the acete... aceta... generic Tylenol to kick in). I doze a lot, sitting here in my chair in the mostly darkened apartment, and have "comfort movies" playing (GoldenEye [James Bond... umm... 1995? 1996? I don't feel like looking it up] has been playing since late last night, partly because it hurts too much to reach up to the vcr and change it out for something else).

But cleaning? Moving around and... moving? Not a chance. Such activities are forbidden to me right now, and oddly, I'm not too inclined to fight against such restrictions. While I'm not happy about the lack of activity and the failure with the challenge, and watching my family do MY JOB is agonizing to my soul, I'm content to sit in the dark and doze my way through this pain. When I can put a shirt again without sobbing frantically because the shirt touches my skin, I'll reclaim my activities. Until then... I rest, I read, I heal.

Ooooowwwwe....

I think there's a very good chance the sun burn is worse than I initially thought. Possibly much worse, but I won't know that until later tonight or tomorrow morning.

I am burned. I hardly slept last night for the pain of the burn, which a rare thing for me. Normally I don't get BURNED and when I do get tomato red, it rarely ever hurts. This HURTS.

And I have chills and a low grade fever. Aside from the pain of the burn and the chills, though, I feel great. Especially on an emotional and mental level. Well, except the exhaustion from not sleeping much last night. And the mild dehydration. I could use another gallon or three of water and a nice long nap.

I think, despite living in the Sunshine State, I don't see the sun enough. I've not actively tracked it, but I've noticed over the past few months that being outside in the sunshine tends to completely banish the depressive episodes when they happen. And I've noticed that those depressive episodes tend to happen when I've been inside for days at a time, only venturing out just at sunrise or sunset, and never really getting any sunlight.

With that in mind, I think I'll have to make sure that I venture beyond my apartment walls at least once every day or two, for no less than half an hour. I can't let it go beyond two days or I start feeling run down, both emotionally and physically, and I think more than half an hour would be too much. Of course, I'll have to wait until after this burn is healed, because I can't see me doing much more over the next few days than trying to cat-nap while wrapped in cold wet rags.

Maybe.

Doing the cat-nap in cold wet rags thing is the ONLY thing on my agenda for today until time to take K. back to school tonight for the 5th Grade Level Performance. By the time I have to get ready for that, I'll know more about how bad this burn really is. It'll be close to 24 hours by the time I have to get dressed and leave for school tonight, and if I'm still in as much pain as I'm in now, then this burn is way bad. With any luck, the pain will have subsided a great deal by then, but I'm thinking I may not be that lucky this time.

So if anyone wants me, I'm cat-napping with my arms wrapped in cold wet rags, and probably shivering myself silly.

Have a good day, world.

I got sun...

You know you're sun burned when the aloe gel you smear on one arm is completely dried before you're even done smearing the other arm.

But I feel better.

I guess whatever bug was occupying my body decided that five hours in the sun (on black top, no less) wasn't its idea of fun, and left.

On the down side of that, I'm fried. I mean REALLY fried, too.

But, I am a natural blond and my skin, though it does burn from time to time, tends to tolerate the sun's fiery kiss much better than another's. It's rare that I have to use aloe gel (it's most often reserved for A. and K.) and I have every faith that I'll be fine in a few days... if it even takes that long. The real tale of how bad this burn is will be told tomorrow morning when I get out of bed.

Also, A. thinks he'll be coming home Wednesday. There's no confirmation on that, though. He'll find out more tomorrow.

I need a nap.

Menu!

Wow. Last week went kaboom, didn't it? I think my goal this week is to have no more than three changes to the menu I make!

A. suggested last night that he may be back early from his trip, but I have no firm details on that. This made it sort of difficult to plan this week's menu, but this week's menu was a bear to wrestle with anyway. I've been thinking about changing a few of our eating habits (read that prices are rising again and I refuse to pay some them, my food budget is already way too high), so there's a lot of new and "weird" things being cooked this week. It'll be interesting to see what happens.

K. has a grade level music performance this Tuesday so we have another "quick night" where we have just a few hours between her getting off the bus and us having to be at school for an event.

And I think I'm teetering on the edge of being sick. I thought the way I felt Saturday was just punishment for the McDonald's I had Friday night, but nope. It carried into Sunday and this morning - while not as bad - is bad, too. I slept most of the weekend (K. did a fantastic job of taking care of me) and I foresee a great deal of ginger tea in my immediate future.

Also, it's odd to me that I'm 37 years old and don't know how to make any sort of beans from scratch, using dried beans. It should be an interesting week, indeed.

Sunday: lunch: pot pie/frozen meals
dinner: spaghetti and bread
Monday: fruit/soup/grilled cheese sandwiches (helps if we have bread LOL)
Tuesday: Boca chicken things, mac & cheese, whatever veggies are in the refrigerator
Wednesday: rice and beans, salad, toasted garlic bread
Thursday: Ginger Pork, rice, broccoli
Friday: butter (lima) beans, hoe cakes, salad
Saturday: lunch: leftovers/sandwiches/soup (possibly home made pizza, depending on how I feel by then and what's on the agenda)
dinner: Simple Taco Meat with homemade tortillas (still not sure about making my own tortillas), buttery peas & rice (recipe on the same page and just below the taco meat one)